True Life: I Do Not Live in a Jane Austen Novel

Lucky bitch.

Incredible as it seems, I have finally realized that my life is actually not something out of a dramatically perfect Jane Austen love story. This was my thought process during a 4-hour version of "Pride and Prejudice".

1. I don't have four sisters, all of varying degrees of silliness, whose static characteristics greatly offset that of my own.

2. I don't spend my days wandering about the forests of England or reading petite books of literature wearing cottony white frocks.

3. I will never be at a ball surrounded by attractive, eligible young men all of whom have grand fortunes such as the estates of Netherfield or Pemberly.

4. And I will never have the good patience, wisdom, and self-control that all of Austen's protagonists seem to possess.

Talk about false expectations. Jane, I appreciate how difficult it was to create such a beautiful story, but really, it makes the rest of us girls look rather uncreative and boring. We meet our future husbands at school, work, or worse, clubs. Instead of giggling in a girlish fashion by candlelight with our sisters, we pine away the afternoon on Facebook, sighing hopelessly through album after album of those dearest to our hearts. Being in love is terribly lonely, because no one will ever experience the same roller coaster that you do with that particular person. Wait. I take that back. This situation has occurred once to my knowledge, but it did not involve only me, but also my best friend. But that is a drama that I am not to tell. To continue, winning a man like Mr. Darcy is like winning the Mega Millions lottery. The likelihood of finding a man who is kind, handsome, tall, gentle, pensive, intelligent, generous, merciful, a good horseman (we can't forget about that), and who thinks that you are an angel sent from God himself is next to impossible! And even if a man like that were to exist, how are we ever to find him, or disallow unfortunate circumstances to tear us apart? How would we ever deserve such a person in the first place? As you can see, it is totally, completely, and entirely impossible.

But, if you are like me, you are the sort of girl who still holds that small, fluttering chance close to her heart, and hopes that you will be rewarded for it in the end. One can live in reality and still dabble in fantasy, no? I certainly hope so, because if I were forced to choose between the two, I'm not sure which one I would choose.